Lenny the Loser Celebrates Fields Day in the NFL

Jeff SaturdayJustin FieldsJustin HerbertJustin JeffersonKliff KingsburyKyler MurrayPatrick MahomesRicky Gervais

Quick, of the six quarterbacks taken in the first round of the last two NFL Drafts, which one looks like the brightest star?

If your answer wasn’t Justin Fields, you:

  1. Are fretting who will sit next to creepy Uncle Jerry at Thanksgiving.
  2. Are a Packers fan who’s hoping the franchise has a club option on Aaron Rodgers for 2023
  3. Are suffering from election overload.
  4. Are a Rams fan resigned to the fact that there will be no repeat.

Consider the list: Trevor Lawrence was the 1st pick in the 2021 NFL Draft followed by Zach Wilson (2), Trey Lance (3), Fields (11) and Mac Jones (15). Kenny Pickett (20) went in 2022. Surrounded by less talent than the lead at a junior high school performance of Jersey Boys, Fields has shown the kind of electric stardom that none of the others have displayed.

Fields has posted QBRs of more than 100 in three of his last games and 99 in another. He’s accounted for 15 touchdowns including 10 passing with just three picks.

The last two weeks have hinted at Patrick Mahomes/Josh Allen potential. He’s accounted for 615 yards in total offense and eight touchdowns. The Houston Texans have accounted for 690 yards and three touchdowns.

And yes, he has taking over the QB starting job for Lenny the Loser’s fantasy team, Sexual Chocolate.

FALCONS -3 over Bears – It would Fields good to pick the Bears, but they just lost RB Khalil Herbert to IR (hip) and David Montgomery hasn’t looked like a franchise RB. The Falcons got their rear ends kicked last week, giving up 232 yards rushing to the Panthers. Justin gets a dustin’.

+RAVENS -13 over Panthers – And Roquan Smith goes for 13 tackles. Yep, Ravens cover and Mr. Smith endears himself to Baltimore fans in his home debut.

Bills -8 over Browns in Detroit – Bills have been hit by two storms recently – the Vikings and a blizzard that forced the game from Buffalo to Detroit. An angry Bills team takes it out on a struggling Cleveland team. Wait, struggling Cleveland is redundant.

Commanders -3 over TEXANS – Whatever happened to the NFL East? Better yet, what ever happened to that guy named Carson Wentz. Membership applications in the Taylor Heinicke Fan Club accepted here.

COLTS +7 over Eagles – By tipoff the Eagles will have signed Mean Joe Greene and traded for Aaron Donald. Philly is a terrific team, but those visions of an undefeated season were nonsense. Philly Slide instead of special.

+PATRIOTS -3.5 over Jets – Bill Belichick has possessed Sam Darnold and now Zach Wilson, whose four-touchdown, five-interception season has been overshadowed by the defense and a shocking 6-3 record. The Sophomore Jinx would be an improvement.

SAINTS -3 over Rams – No Cooper Kupp, no run game, no idea where Matt Stafford’s next pass might land. The Loser already lamenting taking Ginger Dalton and giving the points. Only Ricky Gervais understands.

+Lions +3 over GIANTS – Giants QB Daniel Jones has undergone the Daboll Procedure. He cherishes the football like it’s his childhood Pooh Bear. After fumbling 36 times in his first three seasons, he’s fumbled just three times (losing two) this season. The odds are never in anyone’s favor the way they’re going for Danny Dimes. Four of six losses by Detroit have been by four or less points.

Raiders +2.5 over BRONCOS – The Jeff Saturday Coaching Trophy 🏆 is up for grabs. Vegas coach Josh McDaniels (13-23, .361) faces off against Nathaniel Hackett (3-5, .375). Therefore, the Loser is taking the team getting points and trying to underthink this one.

VIKINGS +1.5 over Cowboys – Until last week’s loss in Green Bay, Mike McCarthy 🤠 was in the conversation for Coach of the Year. The Loser never joined this group of misguided frontrunners. By the end of the weekend McCarthy will be back on the Hot Seat and all will be right with America’s Team. Oh yes – Justin ‘Friggin” Jefferson.

STEELERS +4 over Bengals – Cincy QB Joe Burrow, who has been sacked 113 times, will announce after the game that he is leaving his body – not to science – just leaving it. T.J. Watt and Minkah Fitzpatrick to play.

CHARGERS +5 over Chiefs – Chiefs win it but Justin Herbert, who’s been throwing to group of ex-XFL receivers, reminds the country of his remarkable talent. Speaking of remarkable talent. Patrick Mahomes could look good with a group of ex-con receivers. Chargers cover and Herbert throws for more than 400.5 yards.

49ers -8 over CARDINALS – The Loser once again asks the question: Why is Kliff Kingsbury still the head coach? He is 10-18-1 in home games. West Coast teams, plus the Cowboys and Raiders, often don’t feel like the road team. 49ers cover. Kingsbury and Kyler Murray engage in a hairy eyeball stare down for the ages as they leave the field for halftime.

Home team in CAPS.

Last week: 7-7; +Best bets: 2-1

Overall: 71-66-2; +Best bets: 16-11