BillsBradley BealCooper KuppFrances TiafoeMatt StaffordRams

Lenny The Loser: Forget Elbow Grease; QB Matt Stafford Needs Cortisone

The Loser is painfully aware that it takes a lot of elbow grease to succeed.

He spent hours – even pulled one all-nighter – studying for his first Fantasy Football League draft of the season. According to evaluators on two sites, The Loser’s squad “Sexual Chocolate,” received a grade of C-.

How is that possible? This is the squad:

QB – Jalen Hurts, Trey Lance.

RB – Christian McCaffrey, D’Andre Swift, J.K. Dobbins, Cam Akers, Dameon Pierce.

WR – Deebo Samuel, Jaylen Waddle, Christian Kirk, Darnell Moody, George Pickens.

TE – Zac Ertz.

Def – Saints

Kicker – Who cares.

You’ll notice there are no members of the Buffalo Bills, the team favored (+600) to win the Super Bowl, and only one player from the defending champion Rams, RB Cam Akers, who missed almost all of last season making a remarkable recovery from an Achilles tendon injury.

The Loser stepped on some uneven pavement the other day and was laid up for three days.

Fortunately, I didn’t use my elbow to break my fall because that joint is going to be the most-watched upper body injury of the season. L.A. quarterback Matt Stafford has been dealing with tendonitis in his throwing elbow. He had a “procedure,” a term usually reserved for senior citizens.

It certainly is not a traumatic injury like an ACL. But consider how precise a QB must be. He has to throw into something called a tight window. The Loser hasn’t heard this much talk about tight windows since he had to eject out of a former girlfriend’s window when mom and dad got a home too early.

Thank goodness for cellphones.

Anyway, these soft tissue injuries are very unpredictable, which is a bitch when you’re in the prediction business. With that in mind, here’s The Loser’s take on the opening game of the season – Thursday night’s possible Super Bowl preview featuring the Bills at the Rams.

Love the Rams getting two at home. Why?

Stafford’s elbow will never be better than it is in Week 1.

He and Cooper Kupp will throw against a Buffalo defense that will be without CB Tre’Davious White. That means rookie Kaiir Elam will start at one corner and 2020 seventh-round pick Dane Jackson will start at the other corner.

Consider the career of cornerback A.J. Terrell, the 16th pick in the 2020 NFL Draft. He was the second cornerback taken. Terrell got lit up like July 4th marshmallows his rookie season.

According to published reports, opponent teams targeted him 106 times and completed 67-percent of those throws for 13.2 yards per catch and six touchdowns. By the end of his rookie year, Terrell was on his way to becoming one of the best corners in the NFL.

Elam was the 23rd overall pick and the fourth cornerback taken in the 2022 NFL draft. Kupp was last seen walking out of the Rams film room grinning like a guy who recently signed a three-year, $80 million extension.

Stafford is going to have to throw. The Rams O-Line will have two new starters. Remember that 23-20 Super Bowl win? L.A. ran for 43 yards. Odell Beckham, Jr. is gone (for now) but Allen Robinson II was signed.

Stafford’s passing yardage over/under is 265.5 yards. This could be second mortgage time.

POOP CULTURE – The Loser waited until the last weekend of summer to pick up the S.I. 2022 Swimsuit Issue. Kim Kardashian on the cover. Why? She’s not a model. She doesn’t represent an unrepresented group unless silicone-enhanced businesswomen are something The Loser isn’t woke to.

LOVE GAME – Frances Tiafoe is the best thing to happen to American Tennis since John McEnroe. He’s got his family courtside. He’s Bradley Beal. Think about that – a sports crossover tennis star. The Loser has got to himself a pair of Tiafoe’s “Big Foe” special-edition Nike sneakers.

THE EAGLE IS RISING: The Loser favorite preseason bet. The Eagles odds of winning the NFC East opened at +300 and now sits at +160. Not a great number but consider that the Cowboys opened at -120 and now sit at +140.

The Cowboys recently signed former Philly O-Lineman Jason Peters. In his prime, Peters was one of the best tackles in the game. Want to know how far the Cowboys line has fallen? Peters is 40. Forty! Chances are he’s more recently eaten pancakes than pancaked a rush end. Hey, the big fella deserves to enjoy life. So does Cowboys QB Dak Prescott.

 

author
Lenn Robbins
Sports Journalist
Hi, I'm Lenn Robbins, a long-time sportswriter who still holds the detention record at Bildersee Junior High School in Brooklyn, N.Y., where I was born and raised. I came out of the womb a Mets fan, was baptized a Knicks fans and through the power of TV, became a Cowboys fan, which explains why I'm in group therapy. The name of my fantasy football league team is Sexual Chocolate. Anyone who can explain the origin of said team name, please h
Interests
NFLNBAMLBGolfHorse RacingBoxingCollege Basketball+1
Posts at betbasics
123 Posts