Luck of the Celtics? Their Coach Has Been Suspended for the Season

Baker MayfieldJimmy GaroppoloJustin HerbertMike EvansMitch TrubiskyTom Brady

When losing is an everyday experience, one takes comfort wherever it can be found. In this case The Loser found solace in one of the greatest players to ever play any sport – LeBron James.

 

According to a national website, the King is now LeBron James VI, and this has nothing to do with a sneaker launch.

 

James now is the sixth best player in the NBA, according to the survey.

 

The player who has been in a two-man debate about who is the greatest hoopster of all time doesn’t even crack the Top 5. Steph Curry, who has worked his way into the GOAT conversation, Joel Embiid, Nikola Jokic, Giannis, and Luka are ranked above James.

 

Michael Jordan, stogie in hand, must be chuckling his bald dome off while lining up a putt on some green in North Carolina.

 

For the record, we do believe that Jordan is the greatest of all time. He’s also the toughest, the nastiest, the most cutthroat and the greatest competitor.

 

 James’ competitiveness. He has been exceptionally great and has used his platform to better society in a way Jordan never did.

 

Who can forget Jordan’s quote, “Republicans buy sneakers, too,” one that he recently claimed was said in jest. Regardless, it was a smart business stand to take.

 

Here’s another smart play. The NBA season tips off on Tuesday, Oct. 18 with the 76ers at the Celtics, followed by the Lakers at the Warriors. A Boston-Golden State Finals would be a rematch of last season and should make for a riveting series.

 

But now comes the shocking news that Boston has suspended Ime Udoka for the entire season after the franchise uncovered an improper sexual relationship between the coach and a Celtics female employee.

 

 Udoka did a remarkable job in his first season. Boston was 16-19 and there were reports that stars Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown couldn’t coexist. Udoka galvanized that team, finishing, 51-31 and winning the East.

 

The Celtics are still listed at +280 to win the Eastern Conference at FanDuel. That means if you bet $100 on the Celtics, you’d win $380, thus netting $280 and buying a pair of Air Jordans. Nice wager. Grab it now.

 

 

Because as more about this story comes to light, when the Celtics hit their first skid, when the first story breaks that assistant coach, Joe Mazzulla, isn’t being embraced by the players, that number is going South in hurry.

 

Oh yes, the Celtics just announced that center and shot-blocker extraordinaire Robert Williams III will miss 2-3 months after undergoing knee surgery.

 

If Boston wins the East, The Loser pledges to acknowledge that New England clam chowder is better than Manhattan. And that Sam Adams Lager is a better beer than Blue Point Toasted Lager.

 

THE INTERNSHIP: Very funny movie starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. They create an app in which you must answer a difficult question before sending a text to the target of your romance. This reduces the possibility of sending a relationship-destroying text, such as one that features a picture of your genitalia.

 

I know of no woman (not sure about men) who has received a text of a man’s junk and exclaimed, “This is so thoughtful!”

 

With that in mind, you should never place a bet while in an emotional state. Which is what The Loser did in last week’s 7-9 disappointment, highlighted by going 0-3 on Best Bets (0-3!)

 

Example 1: Bengals -7 at Dallas. The Cowboys fan in me proved fatal. Yes, Dak Prescott is lost for another six weeks, but the Bengals offensive line apparently has put a bounty on QB Joe Burrow.

 

The last time this happened Saints coach Sean Payton was suspended for a season and defensive coordinator Gregg Williams was banned indefinitely. Williams, of course, resurfaced with the Jets, where his soon to be released pamphlet, “Prevent Defense for Dummies,” is looking for a publisher.

 

Burrow was sacked six times and has now been sacked 13 times in two games! Last season he was sacked 51 times in the regular season, which means, despite the Bengals trumpeting a rebuild of their O-Line, Burrow is on pace to be sacked 110.5 times.

 

This can’t happen because Burrow won’t make it to Game 7, no less a 17-game schedule.

 

Other emotional betting blunders:

 

Panthers +2 over GIANTS – Despite my animosity for Baker “The Commercial Maker” Mayfield, the Giants ineptitude over the last five years proved to be The Loser’s emotional downfall.

 

BROWNS -6.5 over Jets – Convinced Joe Flaccid didn’t have it, uh, in him.

 

On to this week.

 

COLTS +5.5 over Chiefs – The Matt Ammendola Story story includes this sad chapter when he costs the Chiefs a cover.

 

PATS +3 over Ravens – What’s happened to Baltimore’s Killer Birds? Ravens gave up a 21-point lead at home.

 

Saints -2.5 over PANTHERS – Bet on Baker Mayfield once, shame on me. Bet on Baker Mayfield twice, move to another country and chance my name.

 

+BEARS – 2.5 over Texans – Just heard back from QB Justin Fields. He did forget Darnell Mooney is his best receiver and will get him the ball this weekend.

 

DOLPHINS +5.5 over Bills – Stephen Ross seen sneaking out of the Bills locker room.

 

Lions +6.5 over VIKINGS – Can’t, in good faith, count on Kirk Cousins. Can’t, in good faith, count on Jared Goff. Counting on the fat points.

 

+Bengals -6 over JETS – Flacco hasn’t won back-to-back games since October of 2019.

 

TITANS +2 over Raiders – Last time The Loser sticks with the Titans.

 

+EAGLES -6.5 over Commanders – Tissues please. So looking forward to how the warm and empathic Philly fans welcome back Carson Wentz.

 

CHARGERS -7 over Jaguars – But the over/under on Justin Herbert’s ribs is 22.5.

 

Packers Pick’em over BUCS – What you want them to do? Certainly not replace Tom Brady bodyguard Mike Evans with Cole Beasley.

 

RAMS -3.5 over Cardinals – Razing Arizona. Kliff Kingsbury watch is on.

 

Falcons +1 over SEAHAWKS – Geno Smith vs Marcus Mariota, a future USFL championship game QB preview.

 

 BRONCOS +1 over 49ers – Every third and long situation is great theater now that Jimmy G is at the helm.

 

Cowboys +1 over GIANTS – Big Blue’s bid for an undefeated season ends as Daniel Jones gets picked twice and loses a fumble.

 

STEELERS +4 over Browns – The True-bisky will set Mike Tomlin free; Kenny Pickett, you’re up. LOST

 

Home team in CAPS.

+ Best Bets.

Last week: 7-9. Best bets: 0-3.

Overall: 12-19-1. Best bets: 2-4.