So much for burning sage.
The Loser had himself a .500 week, which means if you’re not winning, you’re losing. And the 0-3 on Best Bets is inexcusable, so excuse me.
What went wrong? Let’s first look at the Best Bets.
BUCCANEERS -10 over Falcons – Tom Brady was seen burning sage in the Bucs’ receivers’ room where Julio Jones (knee), Russell Gage (back) and Breshad Perriman (knee/hamstring) are all questionable. Falcons coach Arthur Smith seen burning sage in Atlanta’s QB room.
The only person who should be angrier at Bucs coach Todd Bowles than The Loser is Brady. Bowles had Brady kneel three times after Tampa Bay had a first and 10 at the Atlanta 18 with two minutes to go, leading, 21-15
The Bucs could have covered with a late touchdown, but no, Bowles played it safe by having Brady kneel. The three straight one-yard losses dropped Brady’s career yards per average from 2.7 to 1.7. There goes the Hall of Fame. 😜
Packers -8 over Giants in London – Aaron Rodgers wanted to cross the pond earlier this week to give the QB and his Cheeseheads a chance to experience British culture. “shoot, go to a pub and have a Guinness or whatever the local brew is,” he said. That sounds like a confident QB, and he should be. All the sage burning in the world won’t help the Giants whose 3-1 record is the result of wins over the Titans, Panthers, and Bears. Memo to Rodgers: Try Smithwick’s.
Rodgers was seen crying in his Smithwicks on the flight home as he watched Davante Adams haul in three passes for 142 yards and two touchdowns in the Raiders 30-29 loss to the Chiefs.
Packers wide receivers caught 15 passes for 164 yards and one touchdown in their 27-22 loss to the Giants. Rodgers was correct two weeks ago when, after a 27-24 win over the Bailey Zappe-led Patriots, he said the Packers style of winning is not sustainable. Will Green Bay please trade for D.J. Chark or sign Odell Beckham Jr.
VIKINGS -7.5 over Bears – Have you seen the Bears offense? Chicago’s entire offense needs sage burning. Or just a rubbish burning. Justin Fields will attempt more than 22 passes, the most he’s thrown in a game this season.
Justin Fields screwed The Loser, not once, but thrice. Both of his fumbles were recovered by the Bears. He didn’t throw a pick. And he attempted 21 passes, just under our over/under of 22. If not for Baker “The Commercial Maker Mayfield with a QB rating of 71.8, Fields’ rating of 73.1 would be the lowest among starters not named Kenny Pickett, who was fed to the Bills in his first start.
JAGUARS -7 over Texans – The bloom is off QB Davis Mills who has thrown four picks in the last two games. Jags coach Doug Pederson had to have the entire Jaguars facility fumigated with sage to rid the Urban Meyer stench. It worked.
No it didn’t. Trevor Lawrence needs a personal sage bath. In the last four games his QBR has dropped from 121 to 115 to 84 to 54 – below the Mayfield line.
PANTHERS +6.5 over 49ers – Progressive Insurance burned sage in its advertising agency to ride them of the bad karma known as Baker “The Commercial Maker” Mayfield. Niners win but classic overlook game after Rams win.
Rhule of thumb. Never go with a coach who is in the ejection seat, no less on the hot seat. Mayfield’s QBR? 25.5. Maybe there’s a company that specializes in casualty insurance?
Rams -5.5 over COWBOYS – Cooper Rush has burned all the sage he has. Cooper Kupp is the Sagemaster.
In nine months, thousands of newborns in Texas will be named Cooper. 🤠
RAVENS -3.5 over Bengals – Joe Burrow reportedly has burned sage in the O-Line room. Hasn’t worked. We fear Joe Cool gets baked by Ravens who have eight sacks. Bengals have allowed 16. Memo to Burrow: Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
“Joe, what exactly did you smoke?” QBR of 30.8.
CHIEFS -7.5 over Raiders – The Patrick Mahomes Line of Home Sage products now available at your local retailer.
Should have thought to burn sage in the officials’ dressing room before game because that roughing penalty on Chris Jones reeked and wreaked havoc with the spread in a 30-29 Chiefs win.
ANOTHER LOSER JOINS THE CLUB: Let’s be clear. The Loser wishes no ill will on anyone. But karma can be a bitch. Former Panthers coach Matt Rhule had this to say on Dec. 31, 2019, when as the coach of the Baylor Bears, he was asked about his interest in coach in the NFL.
“One thing people don’t realize is coaches, we pick up our families,” Rhule said. “We rip them out of their homes. We rip them out of the places that they are. Sometimes you do that until you get to a point where you find happy. You shouldn’t mess with happy…More than money, it’s about the situation for my family.”
Eight days later he took the Carolina job for a cool seven years, $62 million, which made the family ripping thing easier. Rhule was fired on Monday, one day after a 37-15 home loss to the 49ers. Rhule was 1-4 this season and 11-27 overall, making him the latest charter member of college coaches who don’t succeed in the NFL.
BEARS Pick’Em over Commanders – Welcome to the Quarterback Bowl: Carson Wentz vs Justin Fields. Makes you wonder if that investment in Prime is worth it. 😢
Ron Rivera is still suffering from foot in mouth disease after his brilliantly blunt answer to the question: Why are the Commanders (1-4) lagging behind the Eagles (5-0), Cowboys (4-1) and Giants (3-2)? “Quarterback,” said the Commanders coach.
Question for Chicago coach Matt Eberflus? Why are your Bears (2-3) lagging behind the Packers (3-2) and Vikings (4-1)? “Justin Fields, I mean Carson Wentz.”
We expect Wentz to have somewhat of a bounce back game after getting thrown under a Ron Rivera Shipping and Storage 18-wheeler. Wentz at least has some weapons, particularly in WRs Terry McLaurin and Curtis Samuel although WR Jahan Dotson and TE Logan Thomas are out. The Bears offense borders on weaponless. But that defense, with Robert Quinn, Roquan Smith and Jaquon Brisker is a force.
Smith is averaging 10.8 tackles per game. He’s in a contract year. We love players in contract years on a prime time telecast. Taking the Bears to win and Smith to make 12.5 tackles or more.
Last week: 8-8; Best bets: 0-3
Overall: 42-38-2; Best bets: 7-8